A Way Forward

A big status update on my book project.

Well, it’s been a year since I wrote this post, and I have not kept up my end of the bargain.

Another year has gone by and my book project has made no progress. I could provide plenty of excuses as to why it has not been accomplished, but the reality is that it sits unfinished, and more importantly, the story that I have told has not been shared.

As I have recently selected my word for the coming year, I’ve also reflected on what I really want to do with this project as I look at the fullness of my life right now.

And I’ve come to a decision.

Instead of a self-publishing pursuit, for which I don’t have the energy, time or funds, I am going to share it right here, in this space. I am motivated by this idea and its pursuit, which tells me it’s a way forward.

And as someone who has never required a paid subscription for any blogs I’ve written, this one project will be the only thing that sits behind a paywall.
The funds will arrive to me, but they will go out to organizations that you desire to support (more on that at the end of this post).

The full journey will begin in early 2026. Until then, for the next month, I will share what this book is about and why I believe it to be an important read.

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My original book outline on the wall of my office in Fall of 2018.

The book is called, “The Hard Way: Honest Conversations about mental health in our homes, churches and communities”

Today’s passage and others you will read in December will introduce you to the what and why of this book through a very personal journey.

In May of 2017, my spouse, Jack, and I were in the midst of a long battle. I can still remember it so clearly, yet it feels like ages ago.

We had spent the previous year with him juggling law school and a second bachelor’s at two different universities, not just full time, but both during the day and in the evening. We knew it would be hard, but Jack has always had great ambition and was pursuing a dream. We couldn’t have imagined such a dark place would lie ahead of us on our journey.

I came home from work one day to Jack slumped by the door. As I had done everyday—and especially in these challenging days since he had fallen deep into depression—I braced myself and asked him how his day was, hoping to hear the utterance of one positive, small victory.

He looked like the weight of the world was on his shoulders—and this is what he looked like most days. The charismatic, outgoing life of the party was quiet—an unusual state for him.

He replied, “I haven’t eaten in 3 days.”

All I could think was, “What?! How could I have missed that?” I had been home every night to make dinner. I was supposed to be taking care of everything, including him. Here he was intentionally trying to waste away and
I didn’t even notice.

But instead of panicking, as I had done on several previous occasions, I sat down beside him, put my hand on his back and continued to listen. I remember very little of what either of us said, but the presence of the Holy Spirit was very clear.

It felt like I left my body and watched God speak through me.

Jack wanted to end his life because the guilt he felt for his existence was too much to bear. But in our conversation, he came to a realization that had never occurred to him—this wasn’t his fault.

In that moment when I told him he could not give up and waste away, he said to me with his normal sarcasm, “So I have to take the hard way? (and continue living)....OK.”

A light broke through the darkness. A glimmer of hope was restored and all credit and glory goes to God.

That was our first step forward in months. It wasn’t just a small victory, it was a giant one, even though the road forward would not be easy. The difference here was that we were on the same page now and could go at it together.

What I have learned traveling this path is that many people take the Hard Way, whether they have chosen it themselves or for someone else. Motives vary, but the common purpose of surviving remains.

The Hard Way is the hidden journey, we must bring to the surface of our conversations. It is a lonely battle, yet we are surrounded by a community of people also traveling this path. As a society, in our homes and in our churches, we are beginning to take small steps in learning how to talk about mental health and its impact in our lives.

But God has called me to start here with our story. He has called me to explore a difficult chapter of our lives, in hopes that sharing this story makes a difference in someone else’s life.

How does this resonate with you? Can you relate? Are there organizations you would love to support who are doing the important work around mental health care? If so, I would love to hear from you!

The funds received from your subscriptions will be donated to organizations you choose! I don’t have any specific ones in mind, which is why I am asking for your input! You will pay to read this book through my Substack, but in the process you will also be raising awareness and supporting access to mental health care.

Sometimes the story is more important than the way it comes to you and I hope you will consider that as you decide the financial support you give to authors and journalists in 2026.

I seek your prayers as I bring this story into a public space. It’s an important one that has sat on my heart for many years, and I know it is meant to reach more people.